DadJokes

I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness.

I have the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.

I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off.

Don't buy flowers at a monastery. Because only you can prevent florist friars.

Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.

A farmer had 297 cows, when he rounded them up, he found he had 300

The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

Where does astronauts hangout after work? At the spacebar.

I applied to be a doorman but didn't get the job due to lack of experience. That surprised me, I thought it was an entry level position.

Why did the house go to the doctor? It was having window panes.